“OLD VEGA TALK”

by Jim Rotondo, 1982

(Written for his 1974 Chevrolet Vega that he owned

 from 1976 thru 1990, blew 3 engines)

Verse 1

I’ve got this feeling that you don’t even care

You’ve got this notion that I’m not even there,

Is it the mileage that has got you down

Or that knockin’ in the engine that is makin’ that sound?

Verse 2

I wash your windows and I shine up your hood,

I change your sparkplugs like a good driver should,

I check your brakes and take care of your clutch,

Just get me to work, is that askin’ too much?

Chorus

Can my old Vega talk?

Or will I have to walk?

Before my fender gets crushed

The radiator needs to be flushed!

Verse 3

Don’t laugh it’s paid for and my other car’s a Porche,

I don’t need a taxi, bus, or a fast racing horse,

But if there is one thing that just makes me grieve

It is Chevy’s worst engine with the aluminum sleeves…

Verse 4

I’ve still got to say that my car is still loyal

Even though I know it eats and burns the Penzoil,

I thank the Lord it has got me this far

But I’ll thank Him just the same for a brand new car.

Repeat Chorus

My brother's '57 Chevy.
Geo Cities has banned me from posting my Vega.

Funny though, they DID allow me to display the
1849 Vega pictured below, go figure.

___________________________________________________

“God Bless the Bowlwinkles”

by Jim Rotondo, 1972 

God Bless the Bowlwinkles,  team that I love

Stand beside them, and guide them to the

strikes and the spares they pick up.

From the pockets, to the brooklyns

 To the guernsy of my pride,
  God Bless the Bowlwinkles

Oh great they do seem,

 God Bless the Bowlwinkles,
  Our first place team.

_____________________________________________

___________________________________________

“The Manualist”

by Manualist Jim Rotondo, 2001

man-u-al-ist  (man`yoo el ist) , n., a person who plays legitimate music with his or her hands by squeezing the palms together and

 producing a flatulent / trumpet type of sound.

A manualist will always attend church on Palm Sunday

and afterwards BBQ's index that are stained with laquer.

As a rule of thumb, the manualist is a handsome man who

likes taking romantic walks on moonlit, sultry, palmy nights

and has a file on his hard drive named “Nails”.

The manualist will use a handkerchief as opposed to Kleenex.

A manualist will use a handsaw before a power saw.

Favorite horse:  palmino

Favorite soap:  Palmolive

Favorite sport:  handball

Favorite composer:  Handel

Favorite American statesman:  John Handcock

He is a law abiding citizen never to be handcuffed.

It is handatory for a manualist to have low wrist insurance

through Lloyd’s of London or Bob’s of Baltimore.

He comforts his pregnant wife with  “Unit, I’ll watch TV”.

Though he has a tendon see to cause a linger after saying

“pull my finger”  he will not stoop to that level

of imbecilism,  stinky pinky aside.

Phellow phalanges, unite and shake,

High five for the sake

Of duty and humanity.

You CAN HANDle the truth.