"White Ball"
Jimi Handtrix's GOLF parody of "White Room".

I'm on the exercise bike earlier this summer before work watching SportsCenter on ESPN as usual. The sportscaster says "Now from one white ball to another", a segue from Baseball to Golf. IT SMACKED ME ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. Do I golf? Tried it 5 years ago at a charity event. Lost 13 balls the first 7 holes. One should really take lessons.

ANYWAY, elected to use my Bicycle Tire Pump and Cry Baby for this song for the long sustaining notes. No Musical Hands are on this track. After recording and mixing this for 5 hours after I don't know how many plays, full dementia has set in and the real White Room will never be the same. Be forewarned.

“White Ball” (Golf parody of Cream’s “White Room”)
Lyrics written by James R. Rotondo 
(aka Jimmy Pavaroddy, Jimi Handtrix, The Manualist)
©2005 All Rights Reserved

Ah, Ah… Ah, Ah…

1.  	Hit a white ball down the fairway on vacation.
	Shoot a birdie, maybe eagle, never bogey.
	Sounds so easy, wishful thinking, should have stayed home.
	Shot an 80 on the front 9 on vacation.

	I’ll wait in this place where my putts never fall.
	Wait in this place where the gophers run from us all.

2. 	You said no swings could secure par on vacation.
	Traffic ticket, restless weasels, goodbye driver.
	I walked into such a sad time on vacation.
	As I sliced out or I hooked in-to a sand trap.

	I’ll wait in the zoo, where they train the baboons.
	Lie here with you with some elephant crap on my shoes.

Ah, Ah… Ah, Ah…

3.	At the clubhouse, dry martini, what a tough crowd.
	Cancellation of Golf Digest now forgotten.
	Hello Tiger, Arnold Palmer, where's Jack Nicklaus?
	Salad dressing, goodbye golf course, be back next year.

	I’ll weep in this place where my putts never fall.
	Lie in the rough where the gophers run from us all.  	

My 1997 K-Mart Bicycle Tire Pump

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